These are mostly poems, or excerpts, I have done for customers.  Some are ready to buy but can be personalised. Have a look at the blog where there are opinion poems. You’ll find speeches here

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Sympathy

We can’t stop your tears from falling
But we’ll pass the tissues you need

We can’t know what you are feeling
But please know that we’re taking heed

We don’t always know what to say
But we’re still thinking of your loss

We may bring food for you to eat
But tell us if it makes you cross

We’re not sure how long you will grieve
But we’re there as long as it takes

We don’t know if you want to talk
But we’ll listen to your heartaches

We hope you’ll learn to bear your pain
But we’ll always be there for you

We’re so sad that your baby died
But know your strength will pull you through

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For grandparents

You remember black and white TV
And LPs on your record player
Your photos had to be developed
No one thought of the ozone layer

At school your desks had lids and ink wells
And on Wednesday shops were closed half day
You used typewriters for your letters
Families didn’t live far away

PC stood only for the police
Not for computers or how you spoke
You made a ‘trunk’ call to phone abroad
And it wasn’t seen as bad to smoke

As you’ve witnessed so many changes
You can teach us all about the past
You have wisdom and experience
Let’s give grandparents respect at last

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My best friend

 

You’re pleased if I have some success
You calm me if I’m under stress

You never judge the things I do
You’ll shop with me for hours for shoes

You and I can laugh until we cry
You’d never let my secrets fly

You wouldn’t ever be unkind
You let me rant and never mind

You’re loyal and stick up for me
You know if I need a hug and tea

You stick around when things get tough
You’ve seen me looking really rough

You’re always, always there for me
The greatest friend that there could be

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Good Advice (or Bad Influence)

 

Work really hard at school so you get a good career
(Though leaving early didn’t hurt Diaz, Depp or Gere)

Settle down with a sensible man when you get wed
(Or maybe choose one who’s gorgeous, fun and good in bed)

Don’t be a bridezilla and spend a whole wad of cash
(Still, shouldn’t your Big Day be a monumental bash?)

Please don’t go rushing into having a little one
(Mind you, it’s easier the younger you get it done)

Never spend a load of money that you haven’t got
(Though you can’t take it with you and banks do have a lot)

Be kind and generous and friendly to all around
(Then again don’t forget that others will let you down)

So I’ve covered everything and now you know the score
I’ll be here for advice if you think you need some more

 

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To dad on my wedding day

 

So here we are on my big day
When, dad, you will ‘give me away’
I’m so happy to be a bride
And glad you’ll be there by my side

Just as you have all through my life
From a baby to soon a wife
You’ve always been my biggest fan
And great example of a man

As a dad you have been the best
Today I will be doubly blessed
Thanks for your love, for everything
I marry my Prince but you’re the King

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Cats are magic

You like the way they look at you
with their long stares into your eyes
You love the way they snuggle in
And couldn’t get closer if they tried

You laugh how they chase their shadow
Or a torch light around the wall
You’re stunned how they squeeze through a space
Yet can stretch themselves up so tall

You’re calmed and soothed by stroking them
Their fur so velvety and soft
You’re charmed by how they jump so high
Then look down haughty from aloft

You don’t mind when they tread on you
To find the right spot on your lap
You are happy to hear them purr
So contented before a nap

You admire how they clean themselves
Better than any yoga pro
You accept their food fussiness
And how they like to come and go

You’re used to hairs on everything
And the scratched furniture as well
They knock things over then walk out
Cats. Your cat. You’re under the spell

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Requested by a romantic groom:

 

To my Bride

I thought you looked gruesome when we first met
It certainly wasn’t love at first sight
I was a soldier and you were a bear
It was a fancy dress party that night

You saw me and I caught you as you swooned
Ok, you fainted as you got too hot
But I did fetch you a glass of water
Then stayed by your side and talked quite a lot

We’ve hardly been apart ever since then
And when you’re not there, I’m thinking of you
I don’t have to ask ‘am I in love?’
There’s no doubt that what I’m feeling is true

I just adore everything about you
You are my best friend, my lover, my life
I don’t want to be with anyone else
I’m so happy today you’ll be my wife

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For one lucky dad:

On Father’s Day

It’s about time that I told you

I’m just so glad you are my dad
I’m proud to say it publicly
And there’s more that I want to add

You’ve always been there, on my side
I never felt I was alone
When life was treating me badly
Or I needed a little moan

I have so much respect for you
You taught me all I need to know
That love and kindness are a strength
To never let my daydreams go

And to work hard for what I want
To stand up for all I believe
To not forget that life is short
To kiss goodbye before we leave

I love you dad and always will
And I know that you love me too
For all you are and all you’ve done
I have to say, dad, thank you

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Happy Mother’s Day

We thought this year instead of cards
We’d frame the role in which you’ve starred
That is of course as a mother
A tougher job than any other

You juggled work as well somehow
We don’t know how you did it now
You never missed a play at school
And even learned the offside rule

We made your life hell in our teens
And yet you always stayed serene
You got us over all upsets
Proved life was best with no regrets

You taught us not to lose our rag
To be polite and not to brag
The adults that we have become
Is down to you, our lovely mum

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Excerpt from a poem: 

Happy Anniversary 

 

First thing in the morning when we’re bleary eyed
Last thing at night when we’re over tired
After arguments about kids or money or mess
If you ask me do I love you, the answer’s always yes

 

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 A Valentine card: 

It’s hard to be bold when I don’t know
if you feel the same way about me
 
 
 
It’s easier to swear that I don’t care
I’ll just leave it to destiny
 
 
 
If I’m not brave, I can always say
Well Fate’s not on my side
 
 
 
But if I let go of this girl I know
I’ll always be dissatisfied.
 
 
 
I’ve got nothing to lose except an emotional bruise
If you don’t like me too
 
 
 
So I’m telling you here, my heart full of fear,
NAME, I’m mad about you.
 
 
 
 
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For a mother who wanted to surprise her daughter.

Learner driver – beware

I felt for your instructor
And hoped he had nerves of steel
It seemed no time since you were starting to walk
That you were learning to drive was unreal

You drove off and up the road
Jerking and revving loudly
I put my head in my hands
Not a mum watching her daughter proudly

You came back an hour later
The instructor shaken and white
‘I think it might really help
if she knew her left from her right.’

Maybe he was short of business
But he came back every week
‘Now we just need to practise
what’s called the turning technique’

I think he meant the wheel
You weren’t ready for a three point turn
Apparently you still had
‘Rather a lot to learn’

To give you some more practice
Dad said he’d take you out
He joked it was like the dodgems
And earned himself a clout

You proved you could do an emergency stop
When you had that ‘concentration lapse’
The pedestrian was fine thank goodness
But the wall all but collapsed

You passed the written test
As you knew the manual by heart
But then came the actual driving
That was the difficult part

Now I am a proud mum
Of course you passed first go
But please don’t ask to borrow my car
The answer will be no.

You worked and saved so hard
But could only afford anti freeze
So we’ve got you an old run around
Here, darling, a set of keys.

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This was ordered by a bride:

Will you be my bridesmaid?

 

We’ve known each other for fifteen years
You’re my very best friend in the world
You were there when I first met XX
And you watched as our romance unfurled

Now we’ve decided to get married
And we’ve set the date for early May
Will you do me the greatest honour
Of being my bridesmaid on the day?

 

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A house-warming present

Moving house

Yay! You’ve moved into your new house at last
Congrats are surely due
You’ve got through one of the most stressful times
That life can throw at you

First the viewings, up to four times a day
Rush round, tidy and clean
Ram things in cupboards, get rid of the kids
But no one seemed that keen

At last thank goodness a buyer was found
So you bought your new place
But wouldn’t you know, your buyer backed out
Now you were in a race

It was lucky a nice family came
And bought your house instead
Now it was time to do all the packing
For moving day ahead

When the removal van didn’t turn up
Your nerves were rather frayed
But the neighbour knew a man with a van
Who then came to your aid

Of course the estate agent disappeared
When you needed the key
And there you were surrounded with boxes
…but which one had the tea?

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For a couple’s first baby:

Congratulations

You had nine very long months of waiting
With tiredness, aches and piles
Not one bit of your body was private
But now you’re full of smiles

Your bladder was the size of a peanut
While you felt like a whale
People kept coming up to touch your bump
Telling you their grim tale

You didn’t want to hear about the pain
Already full of dread
And you wailed you wanted to change your mind
On the hospital bed

An angel gave you an epidural
Which gave you breathing space
But when they came at you with salad tongs
Then you screamed down the place

But all that will be erased from your mind
When you look at your boy
The gorgeous child you brought into the world
Who’ll give you so much joy

Say goodbye to sleep, now your life will change
But only for the best
We’re thrilled for you both to have this baby
And we’re glad you are blessed

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A love poem, from a wife to her husband

It was a magical winter wedding
Just you and me and our love
The photos were taken in Richmond park
Sun shining on us above

We spent the night at a grand, stately place
In a high four poster bed
We each knew we’d found the love of our life
But who knows what lies ahead

We had one setback after another
Bad luck, near death and despair
Enough to tear up the strongest marriage
Enough to prove that we care

For we’re still here and as deeply in love
As if that’s what we’re here for
It’s been eighteen years since that winter day
Please God give us many more

 

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It was lovely to see you

 

Thank you so much for your visit
When you hardly have time to snooze
We had such fun talking to you
Though were blown away by some news

Amanda cannot be sixty
You must have got your numbers mixed
I know you are an accountant
But she looks nearer thirty six

Seriously, poor Ariella
What a shocking and awful scare
We wish no more bad times ahead
As she’s had more than her fair share

David, you must be very proud
Of the closeness that surrounds you
You have an awesome family
We must give credit where it’s due

 

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Happy Belated Birthday to my brother

 

Oh dear I have missed a birthday
I am such a very bad sis
And you turned sixty-five as well
I send you a belated kiss

I am really sorry Larry
That I forgot to say to you
Mazel tov, you’re an OAP
You’re now free with nothing to do

What is she on about, you say
I’m not old and I’m still working
As head of the great Freedman clan
There’s no time to practise twerking

Ok now let’s be serious
We owe you a really big debt
You phone each week without fail
In spite of any past upset

A loving and great grandfather
Maths and computer intellect
A benign and kind big brother
Sorry that at times I forget

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Goodbye

 

Who could find a bad word to say
About the woman who lies here
There was no-one comparable
She was so kind and so sincere

Just a wee girl from Sorrento
Left sunshine for grey Scottish skies
It was the lucky Jimmy
Who won the most beautiful prize

But her greatest love was Thomas,
Roseanna, and of course James too
And she put them before herself
More than most mothers ever do

She was such a devoted mum
There was nothing she wouldn’t do
From washing all their clothes by hand
To letting rain keep them from school

The kitchen became her domain
For her cooking skills became known
Folk still talk about her pizzas
With great reverence in their tone

Mum and nonna and wife and friend
She was superb at all of them
In a world that’s ordinary
She was a very special gem

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Happy Birthday – to my brother-in-law

 

It’s no wonder we celebrate your birth
When we think of the value you are worth
Great brother and uncle, amazing son
And you cheer us all up as you’re such fun

You do a good impression of Brando
And can do the the steps of a neat tango
A website guru and adopted Jew
There aren’t many things that you cannot do

Who cares if now you’re in your mid five ‘0’s
Anyway with your beard, wrinkles don’t show
Thomas we love you and think you’re a star
(Now we’d like a ‘thanks’ on our blog sidebar)

 

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Happy Silver Wedding Anniversary

 

How do you stay married twenty five years
Does it go by in a flash
Do you have to be made for each other
A bit like bangers and mash

Do you remember the first time you met
Wasn’t it love at first sight
Did XXX whoosh you right off your feet
Just like a charging white knight

Or did you propose to him XXX
How about we tie the knot
As long as you don’t talk about football
And we live somewhere that’s hot

Whatever you planned all those years ago
There’s one thing that has stayed
You’re both full of goodness and kindness too
And that’s why your love doesn’t fade

 

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After what happened at Nice on 14 July….

 

Pourquoi

 

Pourquoi vous etes remplis d’haine
Pour faire une chose inhumaine

Vous avez telle férocité
Pour faire cette atrocite

Votre acte terrible et noir
donnera tant de cauchemars

Des milles de coeurs sont detruits
Mais ce qui dure c’est l’esprit

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Happy birthday to my wonderful cousin:

 

We’re usually saying thank you
For something or other you’ve done
Because you’re always there for us
Whether for sad times or for fun

Today the message is different
And here is a birthday bouquet
Although it’s been hard recently
We hope you can have one good day

You mean so much to us Alice
You should be treated like a queen
So make the most of it today
Tomorrow it’s back to routine

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This is part of a poem written for a man whose much-loved dog had died:

I miss you

 

You were my best friend for a very long time
In your own special way
Even when you were no longer in your prime
You always made my day

You were so happy every time I came back
Even if I wasn’t long
Wagging your tail, barking like a maniac
Your love for me was so strong.

You saw everything that happened in my life
And stayed there by my side
Then that awful time that I had with my wife
You licked me as I cried

You enjoyed all the walks we had every day
Everyone was your friend
Running and jumping, non-stop chasing and play
You didn’t want it to end

You always came back to me though when I called
And still you wagged your tail
It was a shock the day I said ‘walk’ and you stalled
I knew then you were frail

You looked in my eyes as the end slowly came
I stroked your soft brown fur
Your tail kind of shook as I whispered your name
Tears made my eyes a blur.

At the end of the garden I buried you
Where you would sniff and dig
My feelings for you, boy, still make me blue
The hole you left too big.

 

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This is an excerpt of a poem ordered by a woman to cheer her friend up:

 

For a demented mum of teens

  

Thundering down the stairs
‘Where’s my bag? Who took my shoes?’
And I didn’t do my homework
Don’t know why you’re so amused’

‘Well you shouldn’t need reminding,’
Smiled his superior big sis
‘Oh mum, remember I’ll be late’
She stood and blew a kiss.

‘Your skirt’s too short!’
I shouted as she headed out the door
She raised one shoulder in disdain
And hitched it up some more.

 

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To a husband – Really you were great

 

I couldn’t have done it without you
When we upped our family birthrate
Number two was on their way
And really, you were great

It’s not as if it was new for you
You’d seen it all before
Or been there I should say
As then you focused on the floor

This time you came nearer
‘Up here by your head is best,
I’ll tell you what’s going on
Now you just try and rest’.

‘Rest! I’m in pain you fool,’
A contraction made me shout.
‘All right, all right, no need to yell
And that’s my thumb you’re pulling out’.

You slapped cold flannels on my face
And stroked my back too hard
Then told me when to breathe…
I swear next time you’re barred

When I was starving afterwards
You took the toast right off my plate
Oh, who cares about about hunger
Really, you were great.

 

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This was ordered by a romantic man who took his girlfriend out to dinner and presented her with this poem which we’d made into a scroll.

 

A wedding proposal

 

People once asked dad for their daughter’s hand
Now I’m asking for your life
To be with me through good and bad
Will you always be my wife?

 

Of course she said yes.

 

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